I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize