Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
