Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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