its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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