its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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