I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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