I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
