Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
