she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
