what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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