Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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