At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize