I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize