Three words: puerto rican gang bang
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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