you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
