We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
