My underwear smells like fireworks.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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