he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
