I met the friendliest cop last night
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize