So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
