i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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