So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
