If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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