It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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