How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
