Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
