Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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