we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
