Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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