No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
