How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
