The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
