i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize