"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake