Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?