It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
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You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
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We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it