You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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