This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."