Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.