I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER