At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
