oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
