I wish I could teleport
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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