I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
