his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
