Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
