Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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