He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize