She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
