:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
