FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
