based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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