you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
