Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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