Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You have to summon your inner elephant
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
