After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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