so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
