I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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