i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize