fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
