I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
