Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
