I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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