After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
