You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
