just tell him i said nine months
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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